why i don’t enjoy talking to my brother’s girlfriend…

My bro’s girlfriend is really lovely.  Unfortunately, next to her I seem, and by seem I mean am, a fat, overgrown, ugly, stupid, uneducated, unambitious, unaccomplished, badly dressed, ineloquent (and dead common) loser.  Of course this is true of me next to, you know, people.  But most of those guys aren’t in-law family members. 

Could I one day not be filled with utter self loathing, please? 

Tony Stark/ Iron Man


[ ] You like booze


[ ] You are the life of the party


[ ] You love gadgets


[ ] You can be rather cocky


[ ] Your favorite colour is red or gold


[ ] You’re good with computers


[x] You use sarcasm a lot


[ ] You love getting attention


[ ] You’re good at mechanics


[x] You have issues with your parents

2 for Tony


Dr. Bruce Banner/ The Hulk


[ ] You’re good at science 


[ ] You can get very aggressive when ticked off


[ ] You like to be secluded most of the time


[x] You like wearing baggy clothes


[ ] You like to meditate


[ ] You like doing science experiments


[x] You try to avoid getting into fights


[ ] You like wearing purple things


[x] You’re clever


[ ] Your favorite colour is green

3 for Bruce


Thor


[ ] You’re good with a hammer 


[x] You like coffee


[ ] You can eat a truckload of food and still be hungry


[ ] You can be arrogant


[x] You have long hair


[ ] You have an interest in astrology


[ ] You can get sulky when things don’t go your way


[x] You’re willing to take a fall for someone else


[x] You like to dress up as fantasy characters 


[ ) You don’t get on well with your sibling(s)

4 for Thor


Steve Rogers/Captain America


[x] You like helping those in need in any way you can


[x] You hate bullies


[ ] You’re a great leader


[x] You’re a bit of a do-gooder


[x] One of your favorite colour is red, white or blue


[x] You like wearing things with stars on them


[ ] You strongly admire the army


[ ] You have a good throwing arm


[ ]  You like war films


[ ] You’re good at running

5 for Steve


Nick Fury


[x] You like wearing long coats


[x] You’re good at organizing things


[x] You’re good at being in the loop


[x] You like guns


[x] You’re good at giving information to people


[x] You like giving solutions to peoples problems


[x] You like eye patches


[x] You work best as part of a team


[ ] You like beards


[ ] You like wearing black things

8 for Fury (Nick)


Natasha Romanov/ Black Widow


[ ] You like wearing tight clothes


[ ] You can do martial arts


[ ] You’re interested in the world of spies


[ ] You have red hair


[ ] You’re quite agile


[x] People generally don’t know much about the real you


[ ] You like to make yourself look good


[x] You can speak another language


[x] You’re good at taking orders


[ ] You were born in a different country to the one you are living in now

3 for Natasha


Clint Barton/ Hawkeye


[ ] You’re very good at archery 


[ ] You currently like or love someone on your team


[ ] You like to wear purple and black


[ ] You’re very good at aiming


[ ] You’ve worked at the circus


[x] You like working in a team


[x] You’re up for almost anything thrown at you


[ ] You’d be a top assassin if you ever took the job


[x] You’re quiet


[x] You tend to get along with people well

4 for Clint


Loki


[ ] You want to be a great leader 


[ ] You want to prove something


[ ] You’re the younger sibling


[x] You’ve been/are overshadowed by a sibling 


[ ] You don’t get along so great with your sibling


[ ] You’re good at lying 


[ ] You’re adopted


[x] You’re very clever


[ ] You are able to manipulate people well


[ ] Your favorite color is green or gold

2 for Loki

I’m motherfucking Nick Fury, motherfuckers!